Though the election campaign is turning out to be utterly depressing, at least Saint Paul’s letters to the electorate are quite amusing. I’m not sure why really, perhaps it’s ’cause I’m a heathen, but I find the biblical tones quite agreeable.

vii) And Anthony became greatly distressed, and cried out ‘They are murderers who have done this to Kevin, for Kevin was good.’

viii) And the people said ‘Dids’t thou not declare against Kevin and avow oaths against him, and spit upon him and call him an abomination? And dids’t thou not also murder Malcolm and usurp his crown?’

ix) And Anthony said ‘Thou must not take any notice of what I say. For I am fair dinkum’.

We have been blessed up to now with four letters, 1, 2, 3, 4, may Saint Paul have mercy on us and bless us with more, for there is much to tell. I vote for more smiting.